SNAPSHOTS...

Well, 2010 is over....
It's been a life changing year for me in so many ways.
I thought it might be nice to share some more personal pics with you rather than the usual "promo" stuff.
The amazing thing about working with a crew made up of friends is that every photo seems personal and un-staged. It all feels very genuine and not at all posed...
However, these photos all have more of a sentimental effect on me.
They mean a lot.
I have literally hundreds of pictures in dozens of folders. I feel like much of this year has been lived through a lens, but these are some of my favourites...


Here's a snapshot in a hotel (one of many over the last year) with me, my co-Director and Editor Nick and Tony Blauer.
Tony has had a massive influence on me. He made me re-assess all the awful stuff that happened to me as a teenager in such a profound way that he literally changed my outlook on life. If anyone has been a victim of violence or bullying I really believe Tony and his teaching is the way forward. I can't praise him highly enough.


Me and Nick hit up Hollywood.
Nick was a good mate and frequent collaborator on all of my projects before we began Is it 'cos I'm Fat. He knew all of the Cold Steel stuff inside out and was one of the few people I believed was on the same wavelength as me.
The making of this film meant that Nick was with me pretty much all the time for 12 months. We drove each other insane and had plenty of crazy adventures along the way.
He's a true amigo
This photo was taken in California on our one day off in 7 weeks. We went to the airport to pick up my coach Ben. On the way we hit up the Hollywood sign and cruised around Compton.
An awesome day...


I love this photo. We had organised an "open-day" at my training space to promote the film. About 20 or so people came down and tried their hand at throwing axes and knives, stick fighting and lifting weights.
I had spent nearly 6 months training in that freezing cold warehouse, often on my own or with Ben or Nick for company. It was a pleasure to share that space with more people and have fun.



This is actually an old photo. My good friend Herod took this picture of Lynn and Ron after a boxing session in 2008 during the Life on the Edge shoot.
People only see the tough side of Lynn and Ron. I feel this photo shows the other side to that Warrior Lifestyle that they have chosen. These guys are buddies...lifelong frinds and training partners. There's no ego here, they just had a laugh and a good training session.



Phil doing his thing...
This is a great photo of my good mate and kettlebell coach Phil Earley.
A quiet and unasuming guy who made a massive impact on my life.
Phil was my first coach in the UK and I spent six months training just in kettlebells before I ever picked up a stick.
He saw me at my worst and was always there with words of encouragement.
A true warrior and dear friend, he has been a huge inspiration to me.
His NKC Kettlebell team and students have all become great friends and an extended family.



An incredibly serious photo with Luke LaFontaine.
Luke is an amazing swordsman and martial artist. He spent a lot of time training with me at Cold Steel and never once lost his patience with me.
He was a friendly face and an encouraging voice throughout my trip to the States and I have to say he really really inspired me.
Another great example of the true Warrior Lifestyle. You don't have to be scary to be tough. Luke was a lovely welcoming guy with a kind word for everyone...and he was hella tough!
It was an honour to train with him.



Me and Robert.
Robert is another old mate from Cold Steel.
He is a mountain of a man who can't help but kick your ass.
Robert is a big hearted, generous and funny dude who really made me feel at home at Cold Steel.
He has an awesome family and he's a great guy.
He spent a lot of time training with me to prepare me for the challenge.
I owe him a lot



Me on TV!
The premiere of Is it 'cos I'm Fat on TV was incredibly exciting.
A whole load of us live-tweeted questions and answers for the evening and chatted to people about the film.
We had a great response, particularly from Anti-Bullying Charities who really appreciated what we tried to achieve.
A great night



Knife Club!
I spent some time training with John and Richard at Knife Club and learned a lot.
If you look carefully, you can see that John is actually throwing 6" nails!
Me, Ben and the guys from Cold Steel UK spent a day learning to throw everything from knives to pliers!
A great training session and the chance to make some new mates
Richard actually competed (and excelled) at the Cold Steel Challenge. It was wonderful to see a familiar face when I was so nervous and it was amazing to see how well he did against international competition!



Bear Arm!
This is a snapshot of a display case that I took at the CLA Game Fair when hanging out with Cold Steel's UK distributers, Bear Arm.
Pete and Mark from Bear Arm supported me a lot throughout this journey. They provided all of my throwing axes, knives and shovels, but more importantly became really good mates.
I spent 4 days hanging out with them at the CLA, meeting people who buy and use Cold Steel products (hunters, farmers, tradesmen and gamekeepers for the most part).
I found it fascinating, and while it doesn't really fit into the story in the film, it was an interesting side journey for me.
The Bear Arm guys have become good long distance amigos. We met up again for Knife Club (learning to throw) and again at Sheffield Doc Fest where they came to support me at my official UK Premiere.
Great guys...



Me at Docfest!
Docfest was a blast. It's the biggest and best Documentary festival! It was a huge deal to be a part of the line up.
I was desperate to make an impact and I facebooked and tweeted for all I was worth!
It all got a bit surreal. Here's a photo of me taking a photo of my tweet on the docfest live twitter feed..I then posted that photo on twitter...I'm surprised we didn't dissapear into a wormhole.
I'm such a geek!
Docfest was awesome!



Asleep in LAX
Taken by Nick (I think, maybe Ben..I dunno) at LAX 48 hours after the Cold Steel Challenge.
At this point I had cracked ribs, damaged tendons in both arms, a twisted knee and a multitude of ridiculous bruises. I was so exhausted that if people didn't talk to me I would fall asleep there and then, wherever I was.
I had taken to carrying all my flight information around my neck in a little pouch in case I lost anything. I had to practically be led from plane to plane.
I was a mess
I wouldn't change a thing!



My view of Ben
I could write a whole blog just about the adventures that Ben and I went through over the last year..
It's been a crazy journey, but it's been a wild ride
Ben is an old friend who stepped up to a massive challenge, I owe him a lot.
This picture always makes me smile. The armoured up Creighton ready to take my head off with a stick. The gloomy fridge in the background...Happy Days!



Mum
It was really tough for me to interview my Mum for this film.
I had to really rely on Nick as my co-Director to handle that footage in the edit. It was all far too personal and I found it pretty upsetting.
My Mum has found this whole journey very difficult and still gets upset talking about it.
She couldn't understand why I wanted to do this and put myself in such a potentially dangerous position.
I'm glad she was a part of this film. She was right all along, I wish I'd listened to her when I was a kid...



Lynn
I would not have done any of this without Lynn.
He remains a massive influence on my life.
Lynn is sincere and very genuine about his Warrior Lifestyle. He is the most dedicated person I have ever met and he has devoted his entire life to this ideal.
I don't know why he took me under his wing and took the time out of his busy schedule to mentor me but I will never forget his kindness and generosity.
Lynn gets a lot of abuse on the internet and has more than his fair share of haters.
As someone who has lived and trained with him I can say he is as far from the thuggish aggressive dude that he is portrayed as than can be. A lot of what Lynn does seems outrageous and controversial to us in the UK, but I will continue to support and promote Lynn and his Warrior Lifestyle regardless of the flakk I get because of it.
I'd like to think Is it 'cos I'm Fat shows a different side to Cold Steel, and one that I think deserves more press.
It's not about fighting, it's about self respect.
Thanks Lynn...



Leonie
Leonie is the biggest part of my life.
She supported me through the low times making this film and encouraged me when things were going well.
She tolerated a production that took over our lives for over a year and she never once complained.
Having her by my side at the challenge was a really big deal for me. Just knowing she was at ringside cheering me on gave me the added confidence to face my demons.
This photo was taken just minutes after my last fight of the day.
She's my best friend and she's also my wife...
I'm a lucky guy

There are dozens more photos like this.
Ones that make me smile, ones that make me sad. Great people who took the time out of their busy lives to help a fat nerd.
I owe everyone a huge debt and I'm eternally thankful for thier generosity

Here's to 2011, new adventures and good friends
Stay safe

Andy

UK TV SCREENINGS...

Hi everyone!
The bruises are long gone and the injuries are healed. The film has been edited and delivered...
We've premiered at an international Documentary festival, had some great feedback and tried to spread the word about the film...and now, finally, Is it 'cos I'm Fat is about to hit UK TV!

The film is being screened on The Community Channel (SKY 539 / Virgin Media 233 / Freeview 87) on the following dates:

Mon 13 Dec - 20:30
Wed 15 Dec - 10:00
Wed 15 Dec - 16:00
Wed 15 Dec - 04:00
Mon 27 Dec - 20:00
Thu 30 Dec - 20:00

Tune in and let me know what you think of the film.

After a year and a half it's tough for me to be impartial. I've gone through a lot, both taking part in this film and in making it. It's tested my sanity, my friendships and my health to the limit and I'd like to think I've come out of this a better person.
I have no doubt in my mind that this was a worthwhile challenge...but has it made a good film?

Let me know what you think. Your opinion means a lot..


Thanks

Andy

TRAILER....

IS IT COS I'M FAT? premieres at Sheffield Doc Fest next Wednesday!
I'm ridiculously excited!
I hope people like it...

CHALLENGE PICS!

"No-one leaves uncut!" - Lynn C Thompson





Pictures by Cold Steel

The grade and mix finished late last night ladies and gents...the film is finished!
What a wild ride!
More news soon

Thanks

Andy

DOCFEST!

Whoah!
Is it 'cos I'm Fat is being shown at the incredibly prestigious Sheffield Documentary Festival..

This is beyond awesome!

Here's the official blurb:

A victim of childhood bullying, Andy is a self-confessed “couch potato” who is insecure and overweight. There could be easier ways to come to terms with oneself, but Andy decides to overcome his personal demons by competing in a full-contact martial arts tournament. The filmed journey is a gripping account of self-discovery and what not to do in a fight.

See more here

cool!

Andy

FIGHT!!

The Cold Steel Challenge

From the moment I signed the health and safety waiver and walked into the hall I was a bag of nerves.
All around me I could see groups of athletes warming up, swinging weapons, doing stretches and generally looking menacing...

Enormous muscular dudes with mohawks and intimidating game faces that looked straight out of the UFC mingled with cowboys with bowie knives casually strapped to their belts.

A group of tough looking stick fighters dressed all in black huddled to one side muttering game plans and tactics, effortlessly swinging sticks backwards and forwards with a 'swoosh' that cut through the air and carried across the hall.

A young guy with a samurai haircut and brightly coloured army fatigues literally knuckled like an ape across the hall, shouting to a group of long haired men carrying six foot boar spears...

A woman who looks straight out of Zorro swings a bullwhip at the gathered photographers...laughing as she cracks the whip inches from their lenses..

A guy with thick NHS-looking glasses suddenly makes me jump as he turns and attacks his teenage son with a walking stick who parries at lightning speed with a cane of his own..the clattering of their weapons turning a few heads and attracting a few friendly shouts

A giant of a man with long plaited hair and a blonde beard (looking for all the world like a Viking who had travelled through time to compete)brushes past me laughing while carrying armfuls of spears..

The bleachers are filled with a noisy audience of martial arts fans,friends, family and curious locals attracted by the thought of a weapons tournament here on a sunny afternoon in Ventura.

At the back of the hall a bewildered American film crew crowds around Cold Steel President Lynn C Thompson as he demonstrates brutal looking martial arts techniques on a muscular (and increasingly bruised) TV tough guy.

From outside comes the thump of axes hitting wooden targets. A large group has gathered to watch Richard (an English throwing expert) as he launches his tomahawks with impressive ease into the targets over twenty feet away..

Here and there I spot familiar faces from the martial arts world. The internationally renowned whip master sharing a joke with the olympic fencing maestro. The legendary japanese shoot fighter talking to one of Bruce Lees relatives. Japanese swordsmen, Filipino knife fighters, Chinese Wu Shu experts...the world's best have come to watch and to compete..

With my newly aquired gum shield pooching out of the corner of my mouth and my little sports strap keeping my nerdy glasses on my head..My oversized checked shorts and baggy tee shirt that I'd deliberately bought two sizes too big to try and hide my flabby body...I felt like a kid who was playing dress up. Any second now these real life warriors were going to see me for the limey nerd I really was and kick my ass...

These people were the real deal. They were tough and they were here to fight.
I respected and admired every one of them...and they scared the hell outta me..

But,training with the Cold Steel team had changed me a lot.
In the first week they had bombarded me with training up to four times a day. From weight lifting to sword fighting, from cycling to boxing, axe throwing to rope swings. I had been broken down (literally) into a bruised pulp.
But, like the best of drill instructors, Lynn had begun to rebuild me..the relentless barrage of training with a succession of enormous training partners was beginning to take effect and the lessons started to sink in.

Slowly but surely I was learning...and then, sweetest of mercies..after 12 days of relentless training, I got a day off!
Chilling in the California sunshine at Santa Barbara I reflected and got my head in the game. I thought about how far I had come and I resolved to not let my fear hold me back..
And the next day...I fought...

What happened next I hear you cry..well, I don't want to give anything away. This is after all a behind the scenes blog for a film.
More soon...I promise...

thanks

Andy

CALIFORNIA...

"When there's a knife in the hand, there's hope in the heart" - Lynn C Thompson

Hi
Sorry I haven't updated this blog for a while...
Training has been intense and my internet access has been really limited..

I've been trying to keep people updated using facebook and twitter while I've been going, but..oh boy..it's been wild...

I've been training here in California for a while now. Working on everything from my sword fighting to my kettlebells with some of the best coaches in the world.
I have to make a special mention to Lynn Thompson at cold Steel...his generosity and patience with a out of shape amateur student has been incredible.
I've been training with Doug Nepodal, Luke LaFontaine, Ron Balicki, Russel Seveney, Jason Heck and of course Lynn Thompson every day for two weeks now...

I'll go back through this post in the UK when I get back and add photos and links for people..

I've never trained so hard or with such intensity...

I'm beat up,battered and broken. I have a damaged tendon in my left wrist, one in my right arm, a bruised rib or two and plenty of cuts and bruises...and tomorrow i fight!
I'm very, very scared and just a little bit excited

Everything I've done for the last 9 months has been leading up to this moment

wish me luck!

Andy

ROLE MODELS....

I wanted to say a few things about the notion of Role Models....

I looked through a lot of rushes from the film lately and I noticed I've always stammered and struggled when interviewed about my "Role Models".
I've always been a little uncomfortable with the term because I've always felt it implies hero worship..I've always despised the term because its always made me envisage some sort of groupie, a fan boy...

However, there have been a lot of people who have inspired, influenced and motivated me during this challenge....
I want to make a point of mentioning them and letting people know the incredible impact they have had on my life.
I hate to use the phrase Role Model...but that's what they are....

People like my mate Phil Earley, a gifted Kettlebell practitioner with real generosity and a passion for sharing his knowledge. Kettlebells have become a big part of my training, they are my foundation and my safety net. Phil and his students have become dear friends.

People like Ben Creighton, a blindingly fast and dynamic bundle of energy that motivates and inspires everyone he trains with out of some sort of primal "Tigger-like" energy. Never without a smile, a kind word or a motivational speech..he is also one of the fastest stick fighters I've ever witnessed. A human tornado! Ben is an old friend and a true amigo who has turned into an awesome coach of "Mickey-esque" proportions (of Rocky fame).

People like Tony Blauer, who managed to turn my whole way of thinking on it's head after only knowing me a couple of hours. A true scientist with a unique vision. The people I met on his PDR course have all become long distance amigos in their own right, offering support and encouragement via facebook and emails.

People like Ron Balicki, a long time friend and mentor who really is in my opinion one of the finest fighters in the world. An incredibly talented and dedicated individual who approaches martial arts with the enthusiasm and curiosity of a novice even after a lifetime of learning, he is a perpetual student with an open mind, humble approach and endless optimism. He will quite simply just keep getting better forever as he never stops leaning, experimenting and growing as an individual. A true warrior and a living legend.

And then there is Lynn.
Whenever I've mentioned Lynn in particular I always seem to add "I don't always agree with Lynn but.." before every interview.
Looking back on it, I really regret that.

I think the reason for it is than Lynn really is in many respects a true role model.
I know Lynn is controversial, I know a lot of his aggressive marketing and outspoken opinions have offended people and I know in the UK in particular his love of hunting has upset folks.
I think it is this controversy that has always led me to try and slightly disassociate myself from him.
However, when it boils down to it I am just pandering to the majority crowd. When all is said and done, Lynn has been nothing but a positive influence on me and the way I live my life.
As well as being a truly phenomenal fighter, a lifelong martial artist, Lynn defies all expectations by being unbelievably strong and fast. He is, in his own words a "Fat Athlete". He has taken it upon himself to "prove to the world that fat kids can fight".
He forced me to stop living in the shadow of my own stereotype and to get training.

Lynn also lives by an admirable moral code that he calls a "Warrior Lifestyle". He is all about respect, politeness, generosity and manners...but he also refuses to ever be a victim.
I lived my life by most of that credo myself, except I've also lived as a doormat. I've told myself I'm just being a gentleman, or I'm just being polite, when a lot of the time I'm just being a mug.
Lynn has taught me self respect. It's something I'm still working on, after 32 years it's hard to turn yourself around, but I'm determined to no longer live like that.

Lynn issued this challenge. I wouldn't even be writing this if it weren't for him.

I think that was important to say...

Thanks

Andy

SHEEPDOGS...

"There are people that are either sheep, wolves or sheepdogs in this world and you are training to be a sheepdog! No-one particularly understands or even likes a sheepdog until the wolf comes knocking at the sheep's door!!" - Zeb Glover

The comment above is greatest compliment I have ever been paid.
Zeb is an awesome PDR Coach, a self defence instructor and a martial artist (and a very cool guy to boot).
This one comment (made on facebook) really stuck with me and i'll carry it like a badge of honour for the rest of my life.

A lot of people have said some really inspiring things to me over the last 9 months, every one of them means a great deal.
I've been overwhelmed with the support and encouragement I've received
People seem to identify with what I'm trying to achieve and what I'm struggling to overcome.
To begin with I was worried that people would see my recent experiments as violent or aggressive or think I was training for some sort of payback...it's comments like this that make me glad I took up this challenge...

Thanks

Andy

ALL BINGO...NO WING...

"Your lifestyle should not be comfortable. It should be comforting." - From "On Combat" by Lt Col Dave Grossman

Before every training session (from Kettlebells to Stick Fighting) I get dry mouth, I get an overwhelming urge to dash to the toilet (something I've been referring to as my "panic poop") my hands shake, I zone out and miss people's conversations...I get pretty weird...

I've been complaining in my diary cam entries for months that no matter how hard or often I train I still freak out before every single training session. It's been depressing me and I've chalked it up as another sign of limited progress.
All of these crazy symptoms..I put them down to nothing more than paralysing fear.

Then I listened to a few audio tapes by Tony Blauer and read a book called "On Combat" by Lt Col Dave Grossman...both of which I can't recommend enough...
This combination of sources taught me something very important.

Firstly my "panic poop" is very common. Often referred to as a "combat crap" or, as it turns out amongst my MMA friends, a "tactical dump"... Grossman refers to it as a "redirection of assets" (which really amused me).
Basically my body knows it's in for a fight and it's getting rid of the waste.
My dry mouth, my shaking hands and my zoning out was all part of an adrenalin dump that I, as a couch potato who never did anything more strenuous than lift a cheese burger, had never experienced before other than in unpleasant circumstances...
I was associating all of these symptoms with the only time my heart has ever really pounded out of my chest..when I was getting my ass kicked.
What was really happening was my body was preparing for a fight.

This little epiphany has had a pretty big effect on me.

Whether I realised it or not my body was helping me prepare for what's ahead.
This adrenalin dump is there to help me, to make me faster and stronger and be able to soak up more punishment. It's my body's' own power-up and I've been confusing it with crippling fear.

Fear and adrenalin are two separate things..
My mind saw fear when there was none, my mind made a massive and inaccurate assumption that has had me quitting before I'd even begun.

Knowing this fact I embraced my "nerves" before my latest kettlebell session and went in with an open mind and a big smile on my face.

For the first time I'm not thinking of my body as an overweight meat suit that's slowing me down and holding me back. I might be built more like a sofa than a sports car but my body is my friend and it's giving me all the tools I need to kick ass.
Now my brain has caught up with the proceedings I can hardly wait to train again.

I'm starting to educate myself and in doing so I'm learning things about myself that I never knew. Armed with this knowledge I feel I can approach my training with a new clearer understanding and a new vigour.
I can't help but have a twinge of regret that I didn't realise these things 8 months ago..but it's beginning to dawn on me more and more that this isn't going to end with one day in California...this has become an obsession that I think might last a lifetime...

Thanks

Andy

"Awareness is good. But without skills and ability tied to that awareness, all you have is anxiety" - Tony Blauer

MORE LIFE..STILL ON THE EDGE...

Just a quick update to let you know the longer cut of my earlier documentary, "Life on the Edge" (funded by NFM and the UKFC) is now on youtube with a couple of extra scenes.



Meet Lynn C Thompson, the man who challenged me to do this. An inspiring and incredibly focused and driven martial artist. A truly self made man.
I owe him a lot.
Spot sneaky cameos by my documentary photographer Sheriff Mitchell, eccentric camera man and king of polaroid photography Herod McHugh and even your truly (very briefly on the shooting range)...

Enjoy

Andy

LAME-ASS ROCKY MONTAGE

I was made redundant a few weeks ago.

I have to admit I've been strugling to balance this film, my training and my work life all at the same time (I think I might have even written a blog post about it)..but for me this was all part of my challenge. I wasn't anyone special in any way and in order to take on this challenge I knew that I had to juggle real life along the way.
To be honest I was beginning to enjoy it.
Then the rug was pulled out from under me with a random and pretty much unexpected meeting...ending in me being jobless.

Redundancy is weird. I know I was good at my job. I'd go so far as to say I was pretty damn amazing at it... I'd done nothing bad, I wasn't fired, my work was still top-notch...but there just wasn't a job there any more.
Those of you who know me out and about in the real world know that I threw my heart and soul into my work. I never worked less than an 11 hour day (often 6 days a week) all for the sheer love of it.
Without it I was kind of lost.

My first instinct was to throw myself headlong into training, to crank up the pace and use my new "free time" to completely bury myself in this challenge.
It was starting to dawn on me that the clock was ticking and I only had 11-12 weeks left to prepare for the Cold Steel Challenge..I went training crazy. 3 times a day, running in the rain, swinging sticks till my hands bled, the whole ridiculous stereotype..I tried to live like a Rocky montage...but Stallone I ain't...

It didn't end well.

I found my concentration was shot to pieces, I became frustrated with myself, I stopped sleeping (regularly staring at the ceiling all night, worrying myself silly and getting less than 4 hours kip a night), shouted at my coaches, sulked like a little kid and on more than one occaision had a complete meltdown.
My health suffered. I was training hard but I wasn't training well. I kept piling on the injuries and getting more and more obnoxious till I eventually had to have a word with myself...

I had a few long chats with a few good friends. Spent time with my awesome girlfriend, slowed down the training, took a deep breath and started again.
A couple of meetings about work boosted my confidence again, a few good training sessions got me back into the swing of things and an email from Lynn finally set me back in the right direction.

I've slowly picked up the pace, training sensibly but tough. I'm training 2-3 times a day, job hunting and pulling things back together between sessions.
It's tough, but I think I'm finally getting sorted...last night I slept for 6 hours..It was heaven.

And I keep thinking..if nothing else..the last few weeks - from mood swings to lame-ass Rocky montage training sessions - will look awesome on camera.

Cheers

Andy

GIVING YOURSELF PERMISSION...

"Success is a journey, not a destination" - Chiun (Remo: Unarmed and Dangerous)


Left to Right: Nick Light, Tony Blauer, Andy Smith

I've been keeping this post on hold for quite a while now, and for several reasons...
Partly because the training and guidance I received is part of the documentary and I don't want to be a big spoiler alert, but mostly because it's taken a while to sink in...

A few weeks ago I attended part of a Personal Defence Readiness course at the invitation of Mr Tony Blauer.

I genuinely believe that those two days in Lancaster have actually changed me as a person.

Tony and his team have an exceptional reputation and a track record that really can't be beaten. They teach self defence and tactical training to military and civilians alike all over the world.
They are known simply as the best of the best at what they do.

I was invited as an observer, to sit quietly at the back of the training and make notes, perhaps interview one or two people..journo stuff...
However, once Tony and his team discovered the motivation behind this film and learned a bit about me, they decided it would be better if I "felt" the training.

I had originally intended to write a big old blog post about all of my experiences over those two days (there are a few unpublished drafts sitting on my computer, and they are epic) but i really don't want to give too much away.

Let's just say things got interesting.

If you are interested in self defence I heartily recommend that you check out Tony Blauer and his PDR team. Seek them out for yourself and do some digging. If nothing else, buy one of his audio Cds and give it a listen. You won't be disappointed.

Tony's system analyses fear responses, both physically and mentally...the course made me think as well as sweat.

I sat and thought about the things that scare me and the reasons why those fears have held me back all of my life.

One thing that really stuck with me was the phrase "give yourself permission to defend yourself"...

I'll repeat that, 'cos it's worth repeating..."give yourself permission..."

This really struck a chord with me...

I don't want to spoil any of the good stuff..you are just going to have to wait. But I wanted to share that little nugget. That simple philosophy that had such a profound impact on me.

A lot of my coaches have catchphrases, sayings and buzzwords.
Little psychological shortcuts to a mindset and an attitude.

I often repeat Lynn's maxim "Heat and Pressure makes a Strong Sword"...because I genuinely believe in it. It inspires me, conjures up a certain mood and temperament and helps me find an extra push when I'm feeling close to defeat.

I really believe in the power of these catchphrases. They often sound trite to outsiders, but they can be used to trigger a state of mind or a psychological response. They are often very personal and they mean a great deal to the person who says them.
After all, much of an individuals training is mental.

Tony is by far and away the king of the catchphrase. He is an articulate and intelligent dude with a real talent for saying just the right thing to make a connection..

The idea of "giving myself permission" really hit a nerve. There was something about the phrasing that really had a strong emotional connection with me.
I've found that it has helped me find an extra reserve of determination, resilience and confidence that I never knew that I had.

I can honestly say I'm hooked. I loved the incredible blend of functionality and thought, the mixture of deep, serious self analysis and explosive, decisive action.
I am determined to explore PDR training in more depth even after this film has finished. I honestly believe it will make me a better person.

I must say a big thank you to everyone on the PDR team, especially Tony, Cliff, Zeb and Neil and give a shout out to my training amigos Colin, Charles, Christian, Terje, Kieth and Christian for making me feel welcome and giving me a new focus and outlook on this entire experience...

thanks

Andy

TRAINING, TRAINING, TRAINING...

"...so we either step up or we step the fuck off. That's the game, yo" - Bodie

So, people have asked me to elaborate a little more regarding my training. I understand this won't be every one's cup of tea but I've met quite a few martial artists on my travels who've asked.

First of all i must mention Lynn C Thompson. He's been a long-distance coach from the beginning. From motivational phone calls and emails to "homework" videos and his Cold Steel training DVDs. Lynn remains a training inspiration and a great motivator.

For techniques and training i have watched (and taken notes from):
The Warrior's Edge
The Cold Steel Challenge
Self Defense with the Saber and Cutlass
The Fighting Tomahawk
The Fighting Machete
Filipino Boxing

KETTLEBELLS and CLUB BELLS


My Kettlebells were provided by Powerhouse

My Club Bells (and other sports equipment)were provided by Fitstream

My Kettlebell training is under the watchful eye of the exceptionally talented Mr Phil Earley at NKC

WEAPONS TRAINING


My (polypropolene)training swords and sticks are courtesy of Cold Steel Inc

My Manau Rattan sticks are courtesy of Canestore

My padded sticks and knives are made by "Got Stick" and my armour is courtesy of Guro Krishna Godhania at Warrior's Eskrima

My Weapons Coach (covering stick, sword and knife) is Mr Ben Creighton

My training and sparring partners vary regularly, but i should shout out to Michael Williams (JKD and Phoenix Kali), John Kelso (Kendo) and Peter Hartley (Phoenix Kali)

THROWING



My throwing Tomahawks, Axes, Shovels and Knives are courtesy of Cold Steel UK

The wooden discs i throw at were provided by The Woodsmith's Store

My Throwing Coaches are Mr Ben Creighton (knives)and Mr Maurice Pyle (axes and tomahawks)

EMPTY HAND TRAINING



My awesome Rocky inspired punch bag (The Butcher's Bag) was provided by Bond St Boxing

My Boxing Coach is Dr Iain Brownlee

I have also had the good fortune to participate in part of the UK PDR Course courtesy of Mr Tony Blauer - a truly life changing experience...



THE FRIDGE



The Fridge is the nickname of my training space, a warehouse provided by Hoults Yard, Byker

This training space is perfect for my needs, 24 hour access, custom throwing range (with home made targets) and three massive rooms for me to mess about it. I can't thank Hoults enough...

I still continue to explore more martial arts and training options as my challenge continues. My custom made tyre dummy (nicknamed "The Dalek") has a lot of martial artists talking. I also have an improvised De Cuerdas (a staff suspended by climbing rope that whips around as you hit it) that people have asked about.

My training photos are taken by the awesome Sheriff Mitchell who has created a group on his flickr account just for me...

I hope that's been of interest and it answers questions. If anyone wants to know more (regarding specific drills or techniques i am being taught) please drop me a line at fatdocinfo@gmail.com

thanks

Andy

BLAUER TACTICAL

"Those that talk can be persuaded to walk" - Tony Blauer

So, tomorrow I'm off to visit Mr Tony Blauer

Tony is considered the world's foremost self defense instructor and a specialist in confrontation control and fear assessment and management.

You can see why I'm excited to meet this dude.

One thing that's been playing on my mind lately is the "reality" of my training.

Martial Arts are amazing and have a great deal of grounding in self defense. I train with sticks, swords, axes and knives as well as my bare hands but i am very aware that i am preparing for a tournament...a competition. A scary thing (the thought still makes me sick with nerves) but a competition with rules nonetheless.

I believe my training will help me with confidence, conditioning, strength, angle recognition, speed and awareness...all things that are undoubtedly very "real" and have a great deal of merit if you think about self defense, but ultimately i am learning to compete, not to fight.

When i was a kid i trained in Karate. I was pretty good for a chunky kid in NHS spectacles. I even entered (and did OK in) a few full contact tournaments...yet in the real world i was being physically bullied every day.

One thing i am exploring with the help of Tony is the psychology of fear. Understanding why people freeze and how to cope with that.

I never want to be in another fight for the rest of my life, this film isn't about being tough or hitting folks. I want to explore (and face) a few fears and learn to deal with a few demons.

The Cold Steel Challenge is going to be an epic undertaking, it'll be scary and painful and probably the toughest thing I've ever done...but what I'm realizing is that the preparation and training for this challenge is addressing much deeper issues as well.

It's funny, but this film is honestly changing me....

I can't wait to meet the new me at the end of this

Andy

OH SNAP!

The following are all photos by the incredible Mr Sheriff Mitchell
Check out the set on his Flickr page

STICKY...

"Hold Tight"...Sticky

I wanted to do a special shout out to a dude called Sticky...
Sticky is a true inspiration
He's currently undertaking 1000 miles of Parkour to raise money for MND (Motor Neurone Disease)..

He's already run over 800 miles! Meeting up with folks along the way and Freerunning with them through their home cities...
Sticky made me appreciate the pleasure in taking up a challenge and the fun that can be had from pushing yourself. Even at his lowest points he is full of optimism and enthusiasm. He has embraced the real spirit of Parkour which is all about adventure and exploration, both of the world around you and of your own limits and abilities.
He made me see the positive in pushing things past your comfort zone...

I've been following Sticky's progress for a while now...the accompanying documentary that is being made about him as he undertakes this challenge is one of the most innovative and exciting films i've seen..
I had the good fortune to meet and to interview Sticky when he came to Newcastle, and he completely inspired me...

Sticky is a true warrior and like all good warriors he's fighting for a good cause...

Please go donate some money...

thanks

Andy

A LIFE IN PICTURES...

"You know i think that camera freaks me out more than getting hit with a bloody stick" - Andy Talbot Smith

So I'm getting filmed...a lot...
I'm slowly getting used to it. I must admit it helps a lot when i know i'm in safe hands.
These amazing photos were taken by my old amigo Sheriff Mitchell
Sheriff has been a close friend and work buddy for years now (he filmed Life on the Edge along with Herod Mchugh in 2008 when i first met Lynn)...
He's an exceptional photographer, and these pics are just more proof of how awesome he is.

Sheriff came along to the NKC Instructors camp on Sunday to watch me sweat.
I'd been invited to attend and to train alongside potential future instructors, to see how hard they train and to get some useful tips on technique with the Kettlebells.
It was an honour and an eye opening experience. I've never seen human beings work so hard!
Each person there went through their own personal hell as they experienced true hardstyle kettlebell training from one of the best..the beast that is Phil Earley.
I managed to train alongside them (with much lighter weights) for 6 hours..
As you can tell by my face...it kicked my ass!



Sheriff then joined me for a Stick Fighting lesson in The Fridge with Mr Ben Creighton (otherwise known as Bond St Boxing)
Ben is a truly exceptional Stick Fighter, trained in Doce Pares, Inosanto, IKEAF, Phoenix Blend, Balicki Blend (MARS) and Lameco Escrima amongst others he is incredible at what he does.
He is also an old friend and a great guy...but that didn't stop him from beating the holy heck out of me for 2 hours on Tuesday night...



Sheriff also returned to the warehouse of pain that is the Fridge last night for my boxing class with Dr Iain Brownlee. It was a scorching hot training session which i found very tough (boxing scares me quite a bit). I'm looking forward to seeing how those photos came out too...

I can't say how honoured i am to have such incredible coaches and such an amazing crew coming along with me for this ride. I really believe the team who i have supporting me are world class..
I'm a lucky guy

More photos to come

Watch this space

Andy

LIFE ON THE EDGE...

This is the first film that I made (in 2008) and the first time I met Lynn in person...
It was important to me from the outset that I let Lynn's actions and Lynn's words speak for themselves (hence no appearances or voiceovers on my part).

The original crew comprised of:
Me (Writer, Director, Producer)
Leonie O'Moore (Asst Producer)
Andrew "Sheriff" Mitchell (Camera, Edit, Stills)
Gerry "Herod" McHugh (Camera, Edit, Stills)
Peter Hartley (Audio)

For this extended 10 min cut, I had the pleasure of working with Nick Light (Editor) and Katie Connon (Edit Asst) as well as a new audio mix by Peter Hartley
Nick is now the Co-Director and Editor of Is it 'cos I'm Fat? and has been working with me on several projects now for over 2 years...

It's a little controversial (especially to a UK audience) but i'm exceptionally proud of the film and i genuinely see it as a turning point in both my life and my career.

I had previously interviewed Lynn for a UK martial arts magazine and had several phone conversations with him and his team (gaining access for this documentary). I have now spent the best part of 6 years getting to know Lynn, Cold Steel and their Warrior Lifestyle.

Obviously since then Lynn has challenged me to take up aspects of his Warrior Lifestyle myself (the current film) and all I can say is my eyes have once again been opened...

The adventure continues

Andy

SUPERCHARGED...

"If you're comin' on.....Come on!" -Harold Howard

I'm feeling pumped.
Something has kicked into place...
My new training schedule has kicked into overdrive just in time for things to get really busy in the day job. I'm training twice a day, six days a week and working a minimum of 10 hour days in the office...i'm exhausted all the time, i haven't shaved (so i look ridiculous - like a mouldy peach in nerd glasses) and i'm hurting all over...but i'm kinda loving it.
Maybe it's the stress of the tight deadline at work (that has everyone pulling extra hours) but my lunchtime workouts are going great (and providing much needed release).

I'm missing the odd Kettlebell class due to the job (which is frustrating) but i'm making sure i don't get rusty by doing sets whenever i can.
I've taken on the "RKC 100 swings challenge" on facebook in a fit of foolishness (on top of everything else) but i'm loving the pressure...

I'm really enjoying spending time with my coaches (Phil Earley, Ian Brownlee and Ben Creighton) and i'm looking forward to training with a few sparring partners and assistants in the future too...

The exact details of my workout change all the time, but i did promise to share as soon as things started getting into a routine...
At the moment, this is my week:

MON
Lunch - 100 Hardstyle Swings (16kg), U.S.A set, Footwork drills, hit car tyre
After work - RKC Kettlebell class

TUES
Lunch -100 Hardstyle Swings (16kg), U.S.A set, more kettlebells, Footwork Drills
After work - Weapons Training

WED
Lunch - 100 Hardstyle Swings (16kg), stick fighting (TBC)
After work - RKC Kettlebell class

THUR
Lunch - 100 Hardstyle Swings (16kg), U.S.A set, Footwork drills, hit car tyre
After work - Boxing

FRI
Lunch -100 Hardstyle Swings (16kg), stick fighting (TBC)
After work - Weapons Training

SAT
Morning - RKC Kettlebell class
Afternoon (TBC)

SUN
rest....

I'm tired just typing it!
I will go into more detail for the martial arts or kettlebell nuts when i have a more set routine.

Back to work

Andy

PORTRAIT OF THE FILMAKER AS A WARRIOR...

Proof I'm not taking all of this too seriously
This is an epic life changing adventure that is pushing me well out of my comfort zone...but I'm still a nerd who can never resist looking like a goof for a photo opportunity

Photo by Leonie

BREAK STUFF....

A new "tyre man" constructed by the ingenuious Brian Watson (with wheels and steel plates galore) sits next to my awesome Queensberry 12 Butchers Bag...

The adventure continues!

Andy

GONNA FLY NOW!

Surely the greatest punch bag ever devised?
This is The Butcher's Bag by Queensberry 12
All i can say is it's a massive honour to have one...and I love this thing!!

Awesome

Andy

DIG DEEP

"Sow an action, reap a habit, sow a habit, reap a character, sow a character, reap a destiny" - A duelling quote

That still remains one of my favourite quotes (i originally read it in By The Sword).
As i train harder and more often it feels particularly fitting.

I knew ( as a lazy nerd who loves the internet and Home Box Office far too much) that the only way i could do this was to make it habit.
I've seen evidence of this with several people, including Lynn himself. If they don't train thay aren't themselves.

Both mentally and physically i've been putting myself under a great deal of stress.
My sleep patterns are shot to pieces. I either can't sleep from thinking too much, or i can't sleep because i'm so damn sore i can't get comfortable.

As i've mentioned before i have a day job that requires a lot of dedication and genuine commitment. There is never a day you can just coast through without trying, not if you want to do the job well.
The same goes for this documentary.

Last night i was already tired and sore from Monday's Kettlebell workout. I really didn't want to be there (especially with a camera in my face) but i went out of habit. But once i got there i had no choice but to dig deep and give it 100%
The people i train with and my instructor (the exceptional Phil Earley of NKC) expect nothing less from me than everything i've got.

Today i'm once again limping my way around the office, physically wrecked and with a brain full of cotton wool from lack of sleep but at the same time i am grafting hard and dare i say it doing a good job.
I'm learning to switch brains and to find different reserves for the day job while resting my "documentary body and mind" during those 8-12 hours a day i'm sitting at the desk...

I'm learning that in order to do this challenge i need to be two people.

I have a friend who's a doorman who has described to me before about just being a normal nice, respectful bloke who can just flip a switch when he needs to. I've heard the same analogies spoken by martial artists and military personnel.
I have a theory that it's the same for anyone who has "another life" and it has nothing at all to do with violence.
Maybe in order to be really well-rounded as people we need a few different personalitites in the mix?
I've learned that when i'm engaging in public speaking (something that really freaks me out) i kind of become "Public Speaking Andy". When i've looked at videos of that guy he's barely recognisable to me...

Maybe this documentary is forcing me to create some new Andy Personalities?
Still me, but a me that can cope with different pressures, face different fears and succeed in different situations?

Part of me thinks that's awesome, like a toolkit of parts that are there when needed like some sort of psychological utility belt
Another side of me wonders if that's just a fancy way of lying to yourself...

who knows?

i guess whatever gets the job done, right?

Andy

INSTRUMENTS OF DESTRUCTION...

The first batch of training gear...
Bauer Ice Hockey Elbow Guards and Gloves
Cold Steel Escrima Sticks...

Bueno

Andy

DIRTY LAUNDRY...

"You can't slit the throat of everyone whose character it would improve" - Al Swearengen

So despite watching Deadwood (in which i discovered Lovejoy is the pottymouth king) i've been stepping up the training..
Lifting heavier weights and training more often with less rest..
Bueno

One thing however that i didn't expect to find so difficult is juggling my day job and this documentary.

I work as a concept developer. I help people to come up with cool ideas, do research and develop pitches for different audiences.
It's a groovy job, but it relies a lot on motivation and enthusiasm...
Every single project i work on and i develop i am 100% enthusiastic about..it's how i roll. I work crazy hours and throw my heart and soul into every pitch out of a genuine passion for making something cool.
I won't deny that sometimes that enthusiasm has to be summoned up..but once i get going i genuinely care about making everything i've worked on the best it can be.
It's a matter of pride. That's why i think i'm damn good at my job.
Every victory brings a massive smile to my face and every failed project keeps me awake at night.
The same goes for this film.
I'm having to muster double the enthusiasm, double the motivation and double the heart.
To dig deep and find the extra will to finish a set of Turkish Getups..to give it everything i've got is harder than i'd ever imagined. To then wake up the next morning battered with exhaustion and sit at my desk, open a project file and begin typing enthsiastically takes more out of me as well..

I don't begrudge the position i've placed myself in. This is the challenge of a lifetime, the chance to really see who i am. But sometimes it's tough..
I'm learning to split my lives into two..to use different emotional and physical reserves for different times of the day.
This film is genuinely changing me and my personality.
it's weird...

I've really started treating this blog and my diary cam like a confessional, pouring all these feelings out and airing all my dirty laundry for you guys to read...
it still feels incredibly uncomfortable and a little unsettling.
People talk to me about the project and mention stuff i've written and i'm shocked how much they know about me...
I've got to get used to that...

I've described my life as being a bit "batman meets fight club" before. I was half joking but there is a funny element of truth to that.
I do sometimes feel like i'm leading a double life. Having a kick ass batcave (The Fridge) is part of it. It's weird that i'm facing my fears of violence by learning to use weapons..i know it's odd. Especially as i would never dream of carrying one in a million years.
I can't help but feel like i'm playing make believe...

There is also that sick sense of curiosity that Fight Club portrayed so well. The side of me that does ridiculous things just to see what will happen.
What does it feel like to be hit with a stick travelling at over 70 miles an hour?
Can i lift that 20 kilo weight above my head without doing myself a mischief?
Can i cope with being punched in the face?

3 months ago i didn't even want to know the answer...now, hell, i'm curious...

now, back to typing...office brain..ACTIVATE!

Andy

THE FRIDGE...

This is "The Fridge" my new training space...
Provided by the incredibly cool folks at Hoults in Newcastle
We have big plans for The Fridge
I can't wait to start training in there!

Andy

WHAT IS A WARRIOR?

A mobile phone drawing by Derrick Welsh under the heading "what is a warrior?"
Derrick drew this just for little old me as part of the P.R.E.S.S event last weekend!
Derrick is an amazing and inspiring digital artist who has a talent for getting technology to do cool things and a passion for education.

Awesome...