ROLE MODELS....

I wanted to say a few things about the notion of Role Models....

I looked through a lot of rushes from the film lately and I noticed I've always stammered and struggled when interviewed about my "Role Models".
I've always been a little uncomfortable with the term because I've always felt it implies hero worship..I've always despised the term because its always made me envisage some sort of groupie, a fan boy...

However, there have been a lot of people who have inspired, influenced and motivated me during this challenge....
I want to make a point of mentioning them and letting people know the incredible impact they have had on my life.
I hate to use the phrase Role Model...but that's what they are....

People like my mate Phil Earley, a gifted Kettlebell practitioner with real generosity and a passion for sharing his knowledge. Kettlebells have become a big part of my training, they are my foundation and my safety net. Phil and his students have become dear friends.

People like Ben Creighton, a blindingly fast and dynamic bundle of energy that motivates and inspires everyone he trains with out of some sort of primal "Tigger-like" energy. Never without a smile, a kind word or a motivational speech..he is also one of the fastest stick fighters I've ever witnessed. A human tornado! Ben is an old friend and a true amigo who has turned into an awesome coach of "Mickey-esque" proportions (of Rocky fame).

People like Tony Blauer, who managed to turn my whole way of thinking on it's head after only knowing me a couple of hours. A true scientist with a unique vision. The people I met on his PDR course have all become long distance amigos in their own right, offering support and encouragement via facebook and emails.

People like Ron Balicki, a long time friend and mentor who really is in my opinion one of the finest fighters in the world. An incredibly talented and dedicated individual who approaches martial arts with the enthusiasm and curiosity of a novice even after a lifetime of learning, he is a perpetual student with an open mind, humble approach and endless optimism. He will quite simply just keep getting better forever as he never stops leaning, experimenting and growing as an individual. A true warrior and a living legend.

And then there is Lynn.
Whenever I've mentioned Lynn in particular I always seem to add "I don't always agree with Lynn but.." before every interview.
Looking back on it, I really regret that.

I think the reason for it is than Lynn really is in many respects a true role model.
I know Lynn is controversial, I know a lot of his aggressive marketing and outspoken opinions have offended people and I know in the UK in particular his love of hunting has upset folks.
I think it is this controversy that has always led me to try and slightly disassociate myself from him.
However, when it boils down to it I am just pandering to the majority crowd. When all is said and done, Lynn has been nothing but a positive influence on me and the way I live my life.
As well as being a truly phenomenal fighter, a lifelong martial artist, Lynn defies all expectations by being unbelievably strong and fast. He is, in his own words a "Fat Athlete". He has taken it upon himself to "prove to the world that fat kids can fight".
He forced me to stop living in the shadow of my own stereotype and to get training.

Lynn also lives by an admirable moral code that he calls a "Warrior Lifestyle". He is all about respect, politeness, generosity and manners...but he also refuses to ever be a victim.
I lived my life by most of that credo myself, except I've also lived as a doormat. I've told myself I'm just being a gentleman, or I'm just being polite, when a lot of the time I'm just being a mug.
Lynn has taught me self respect. It's something I'm still working on, after 32 years it's hard to turn yourself around, but I'm determined to no longer live like that.

Lynn issued this challenge. I wouldn't even be writing this if it weren't for him.

I think that was important to say...

Thanks

Andy

SHEEPDOGS...

"There are people that are either sheep, wolves or sheepdogs in this world and you are training to be a sheepdog! No-one particularly understands or even likes a sheepdog until the wolf comes knocking at the sheep's door!!" - Zeb Glover

The comment above is greatest compliment I have ever been paid.
Zeb is an awesome PDR Coach, a self defence instructor and a martial artist (and a very cool guy to boot).
This one comment (made on facebook) really stuck with me and i'll carry it like a badge of honour for the rest of my life.

A lot of people have said some really inspiring things to me over the last 9 months, every one of them means a great deal.
I've been overwhelmed with the support and encouragement I've received
People seem to identify with what I'm trying to achieve and what I'm struggling to overcome.
To begin with I was worried that people would see my recent experiments as violent or aggressive or think I was training for some sort of payback...it's comments like this that make me glad I took up this challenge...

Thanks

Andy

ALL BINGO...NO WING...

"Your lifestyle should not be comfortable. It should be comforting." - From "On Combat" by Lt Col Dave Grossman

Before every training session (from Kettlebells to Stick Fighting) I get dry mouth, I get an overwhelming urge to dash to the toilet (something I've been referring to as my "panic poop") my hands shake, I zone out and miss people's conversations...I get pretty weird...

I've been complaining in my diary cam entries for months that no matter how hard or often I train I still freak out before every single training session. It's been depressing me and I've chalked it up as another sign of limited progress.
All of these crazy symptoms..I put them down to nothing more than paralysing fear.

Then I listened to a few audio tapes by Tony Blauer and read a book called "On Combat" by Lt Col Dave Grossman...both of which I can't recommend enough...
This combination of sources taught me something very important.

Firstly my "panic poop" is very common. Often referred to as a "combat crap" or, as it turns out amongst my MMA friends, a "tactical dump"... Grossman refers to it as a "redirection of assets" (which really amused me).
Basically my body knows it's in for a fight and it's getting rid of the waste.
My dry mouth, my shaking hands and my zoning out was all part of an adrenalin dump that I, as a couch potato who never did anything more strenuous than lift a cheese burger, had never experienced before other than in unpleasant circumstances...
I was associating all of these symptoms with the only time my heart has ever really pounded out of my chest..when I was getting my ass kicked.
What was really happening was my body was preparing for a fight.

This little epiphany has had a pretty big effect on me.

Whether I realised it or not my body was helping me prepare for what's ahead.
This adrenalin dump is there to help me, to make me faster and stronger and be able to soak up more punishment. It's my body's' own power-up and I've been confusing it with crippling fear.

Fear and adrenalin are two separate things..
My mind saw fear when there was none, my mind made a massive and inaccurate assumption that has had me quitting before I'd even begun.

Knowing this fact I embraced my "nerves" before my latest kettlebell session and went in with an open mind and a big smile on my face.

For the first time I'm not thinking of my body as an overweight meat suit that's slowing me down and holding me back. I might be built more like a sofa than a sports car but my body is my friend and it's giving me all the tools I need to kick ass.
Now my brain has caught up with the proceedings I can hardly wait to train again.

I'm starting to educate myself and in doing so I'm learning things about myself that I never knew. Armed with this knowledge I feel I can approach my training with a new clearer understanding and a new vigour.
I can't help but have a twinge of regret that I didn't realise these things 8 months ago..but it's beginning to dawn on me more and more that this isn't going to end with one day in California...this has become an obsession that I think might last a lifetime...

Thanks

Andy

"Awareness is good. But without skills and ability tied to that awareness, all you have is anxiety" - Tony Blauer