SHEEPDOGS...

"There are people that are either sheep, wolves or sheepdogs in this world and you are training to be a sheepdog! No-one particularly understands or even likes a sheepdog until the wolf comes knocking at the sheep's door!!" - Zeb Glover

The comment above is greatest compliment I have ever been paid.
Zeb is an awesome PDR Coach, a self defence instructor and a martial artist (and a very cool guy to boot).
This one comment (made on facebook) really stuck with me and i'll carry it like a badge of honour for the rest of my life.

A lot of people have said some really inspiring things to me over the last 9 months, every one of them means a great deal.
I've been overwhelmed with the support and encouragement I've received
People seem to identify with what I'm trying to achieve and what I'm struggling to overcome.
To begin with I was worried that people would see my recent experiments as violent or aggressive or think I was training for some sort of payback...it's comments like this that make me glad I took up this challenge...

Thanks

Andy

ALL BINGO...NO WING...

"Your lifestyle should not be comfortable. It should be comforting." - From "On Combat" by Lt Col Dave Grossman

Before every training session (from Kettlebells to Stick Fighting) I get dry mouth, I get an overwhelming urge to dash to the toilet (something I've been referring to as my "panic poop") my hands shake, I zone out and miss people's conversations...I get pretty weird...

I've been complaining in my diary cam entries for months that no matter how hard or often I train I still freak out before every single training session. It's been depressing me and I've chalked it up as another sign of limited progress.
All of these crazy symptoms..I put them down to nothing more than paralysing fear.

Then I listened to a few audio tapes by Tony Blauer and read a book called "On Combat" by Lt Col Dave Grossman...both of which I can't recommend enough...
This combination of sources taught me something very important.

Firstly my "panic poop" is very common. Often referred to as a "combat crap" or, as it turns out amongst my MMA friends, a "tactical dump"... Grossman refers to it as a "redirection of assets" (which really amused me).
Basically my body knows it's in for a fight and it's getting rid of the waste.
My dry mouth, my shaking hands and my zoning out was all part of an adrenalin dump that I, as a couch potato who never did anything more strenuous than lift a cheese burger, had never experienced before other than in unpleasant circumstances...
I was associating all of these symptoms with the only time my heart has ever really pounded out of my chest..when I was getting my ass kicked.
What was really happening was my body was preparing for a fight.

This little epiphany has had a pretty big effect on me.

Whether I realised it or not my body was helping me prepare for what's ahead.
This adrenalin dump is there to help me, to make me faster and stronger and be able to soak up more punishment. It's my body's' own power-up and I've been confusing it with crippling fear.

Fear and adrenalin are two separate things..
My mind saw fear when there was none, my mind made a massive and inaccurate assumption that has had me quitting before I'd even begun.

Knowing this fact I embraced my "nerves" before my latest kettlebell session and went in with an open mind and a big smile on my face.

For the first time I'm not thinking of my body as an overweight meat suit that's slowing me down and holding me back. I might be built more like a sofa than a sports car but my body is my friend and it's giving me all the tools I need to kick ass.
Now my brain has caught up with the proceedings I can hardly wait to train again.

I'm starting to educate myself and in doing so I'm learning things about myself that I never knew. Armed with this knowledge I feel I can approach my training with a new clearer understanding and a new vigour.
I can't help but have a twinge of regret that I didn't realise these things 8 months ago..but it's beginning to dawn on me more and more that this isn't going to end with one day in California...this has become an obsession that I think might last a lifetime...

Thanks

Andy

"Awareness is good. But without skills and ability tied to that awareness, all you have is anxiety" - Tony Blauer

MORE LIFE..STILL ON THE EDGE...

Just a quick update to let you know the longer cut of my earlier documentary, "Life on the Edge" (funded by NFM and the UKFC) is now on youtube with a couple of extra scenes.



Meet Lynn C Thompson, the man who challenged me to do this. An inspiring and incredibly focused and driven martial artist. A truly self made man.
I owe him a lot.
Spot sneaky cameos by my documentary photographer Sheriff Mitchell, eccentric camera man and king of polaroid photography Herod McHugh and even your truly (very briefly on the shooting range)...

Enjoy

Andy

LAME-ASS ROCKY MONTAGE

I was made redundant a few weeks ago.

I have to admit I've been strugling to balance this film, my training and my work life all at the same time (I think I might have even written a blog post about it)..but for me this was all part of my challenge. I wasn't anyone special in any way and in order to take on this challenge I knew that I had to juggle real life along the way.
To be honest I was beginning to enjoy it.
Then the rug was pulled out from under me with a random and pretty much unexpected meeting...ending in me being jobless.

Redundancy is weird. I know I was good at my job. I'd go so far as to say I was pretty damn amazing at it... I'd done nothing bad, I wasn't fired, my work was still top-notch...but there just wasn't a job there any more.
Those of you who know me out and about in the real world know that I threw my heart and soul into my work. I never worked less than an 11 hour day (often 6 days a week) all for the sheer love of it.
Without it I was kind of lost.

My first instinct was to throw myself headlong into training, to crank up the pace and use my new "free time" to completely bury myself in this challenge.
It was starting to dawn on me that the clock was ticking and I only had 11-12 weeks left to prepare for the Cold Steel Challenge..I went training crazy. 3 times a day, running in the rain, swinging sticks till my hands bled, the whole ridiculous stereotype..I tried to live like a Rocky montage...but Stallone I ain't...

It didn't end well.

I found my concentration was shot to pieces, I became frustrated with myself, I stopped sleeping (regularly staring at the ceiling all night, worrying myself silly and getting less than 4 hours kip a night), shouted at my coaches, sulked like a little kid and on more than one occaision had a complete meltdown.
My health suffered. I was training hard but I wasn't training well. I kept piling on the injuries and getting more and more obnoxious till I eventually had to have a word with myself...

I had a few long chats with a few good friends. Spent time with my awesome girlfriend, slowed down the training, took a deep breath and started again.
A couple of meetings about work boosted my confidence again, a few good training sessions got me back into the swing of things and an email from Lynn finally set me back in the right direction.

I've slowly picked up the pace, training sensibly but tough. I'm training 2-3 times a day, job hunting and pulling things back together between sessions.
It's tough, but I think I'm finally getting sorted...last night I slept for 6 hours..It was heaven.

And I keep thinking..if nothing else..the last few weeks - from mood swings to lame-ass Rocky montage training sessions - will look awesome on camera.

Cheers

Andy

GIVING YOURSELF PERMISSION...

"Success is a journey, not a destination" - Chiun (Remo: Unarmed and Dangerous)


Left to Right: Nick Light, Tony Blauer, Andy Smith

I've been keeping this post on hold for quite a while now, and for several reasons...
Partly because the training and guidance I received is part of the documentary and I don't want to be a big spoiler alert, but mostly because it's taken a while to sink in...

A few weeks ago I attended part of a Personal Defence Readiness course at the invitation of Mr Tony Blauer.

I genuinely believe that those two days in Lancaster have actually changed me as a person.

Tony and his team have an exceptional reputation and a track record that really can't be beaten. They teach self defence and tactical training to military and civilians alike all over the world.
They are known simply as the best of the best at what they do.

I was invited as an observer, to sit quietly at the back of the training and make notes, perhaps interview one or two people..journo stuff...
However, once Tony and his team discovered the motivation behind this film and learned a bit about me, they decided it would be better if I "felt" the training.

I had originally intended to write a big old blog post about all of my experiences over those two days (there are a few unpublished drafts sitting on my computer, and they are epic) but i really don't want to give too much away.

Let's just say things got interesting.

If you are interested in self defence I heartily recommend that you check out Tony Blauer and his PDR team. Seek them out for yourself and do some digging. If nothing else, buy one of his audio Cds and give it a listen. You won't be disappointed.

Tony's system analyses fear responses, both physically and mentally...the course made me think as well as sweat.

I sat and thought about the things that scare me and the reasons why those fears have held me back all of my life.

One thing that really stuck with me was the phrase "give yourself permission to defend yourself"...

I'll repeat that, 'cos it's worth repeating..."give yourself permission..."

This really struck a chord with me...

I don't want to spoil any of the good stuff..you are just going to have to wait. But I wanted to share that little nugget. That simple philosophy that had such a profound impact on me.

A lot of my coaches have catchphrases, sayings and buzzwords.
Little psychological shortcuts to a mindset and an attitude.

I often repeat Lynn's maxim "Heat and Pressure makes a Strong Sword"...because I genuinely believe in it. It inspires me, conjures up a certain mood and temperament and helps me find an extra push when I'm feeling close to defeat.

I really believe in the power of these catchphrases. They often sound trite to outsiders, but they can be used to trigger a state of mind or a psychological response. They are often very personal and they mean a great deal to the person who says them.
After all, much of an individuals training is mental.

Tony is by far and away the king of the catchphrase. He is an articulate and intelligent dude with a real talent for saying just the right thing to make a connection..

The idea of "giving myself permission" really hit a nerve. There was something about the phrasing that really had a strong emotional connection with me.
I've found that it has helped me find an extra reserve of determination, resilience and confidence that I never knew that I had.

I can honestly say I'm hooked. I loved the incredible blend of functionality and thought, the mixture of deep, serious self analysis and explosive, decisive action.
I am determined to explore PDR training in more depth even after this film has finished. I honestly believe it will make me a better person.

I must say a big thank you to everyone on the PDR team, especially Tony, Cliff, Zeb and Neil and give a shout out to my training amigos Colin, Charles, Christian, Terje, Kieth and Christian for making me feel welcome and giving me a new focus and outlook on this entire experience...

thanks

Andy

TRAINING, TRAINING, TRAINING...

"...so we either step up or we step the fuck off. That's the game, yo" - Bodie

So, people have asked me to elaborate a little more regarding my training. I understand this won't be every one's cup of tea but I've met quite a few martial artists on my travels who've asked.

First of all i must mention Lynn C Thompson. He's been a long-distance coach from the beginning. From motivational phone calls and emails to "homework" videos and his Cold Steel training DVDs. Lynn remains a training inspiration and a great motivator.

For techniques and training i have watched (and taken notes from):
The Warrior's Edge
The Cold Steel Challenge
Self Defense with the Saber and Cutlass
The Fighting Tomahawk
The Fighting Machete
Filipino Boxing

KETTLEBELLS and CLUB BELLS


My Kettlebells were provided by Powerhouse

My Club Bells (and other sports equipment)were provided by Fitstream

My Kettlebell training is under the watchful eye of the exceptionally talented Mr Phil Earley at NKC

WEAPONS TRAINING


My (polypropolene)training swords and sticks are courtesy of Cold Steel Inc

My Manau Rattan sticks are courtesy of Canestore

My padded sticks and knives are made by "Got Stick" and my armour is courtesy of Guro Krishna Godhania at Warrior's Eskrima

My Weapons Coach (covering stick, sword and knife) is Mr Ben Creighton

My training and sparring partners vary regularly, but i should shout out to Michael Williams (JKD and Phoenix Kali), John Kelso (Kendo) and Peter Hartley (Phoenix Kali)

THROWING



My throwing Tomahawks, Axes, Shovels and Knives are courtesy of Cold Steel UK

The wooden discs i throw at were provided by The Woodsmith's Store

My Throwing Coaches are Mr Ben Creighton (knives)and Mr Maurice Pyle (axes and tomahawks)

EMPTY HAND TRAINING



My awesome Rocky inspired punch bag (The Butcher's Bag) was provided by Bond St Boxing

My Boxing Coach is Dr Iain Brownlee

I have also had the good fortune to participate in part of the UK PDR Course courtesy of Mr Tony Blauer - a truly life changing experience...



THE FRIDGE



The Fridge is the nickname of my training space, a warehouse provided by Hoults Yard, Byker

This training space is perfect for my needs, 24 hour access, custom throwing range (with home made targets) and three massive rooms for me to mess about it. I can't thank Hoults enough...

I still continue to explore more martial arts and training options as my challenge continues. My custom made tyre dummy (nicknamed "The Dalek") has a lot of martial artists talking. I also have an improvised De Cuerdas (a staff suspended by climbing rope that whips around as you hit it) that people have asked about.

My training photos are taken by the awesome Sheriff Mitchell who has created a group on his flickr account just for me...

I hope that's been of interest and it answers questions. If anyone wants to know more (regarding specific drills or techniques i am being taught) please drop me a line at fatdocinfo@gmail.com

thanks

Andy

BLAUER TACTICAL

"Those that talk can be persuaded to walk" - Tony Blauer

So, tomorrow I'm off to visit Mr Tony Blauer

Tony is considered the world's foremost self defense instructor and a specialist in confrontation control and fear assessment and management.

You can see why I'm excited to meet this dude.

One thing that's been playing on my mind lately is the "reality" of my training.

Martial Arts are amazing and have a great deal of grounding in self defense. I train with sticks, swords, axes and knives as well as my bare hands but i am very aware that i am preparing for a tournament...a competition. A scary thing (the thought still makes me sick with nerves) but a competition with rules nonetheless.

I believe my training will help me with confidence, conditioning, strength, angle recognition, speed and awareness...all things that are undoubtedly very "real" and have a great deal of merit if you think about self defense, but ultimately i am learning to compete, not to fight.

When i was a kid i trained in Karate. I was pretty good for a chunky kid in NHS spectacles. I even entered (and did OK in) a few full contact tournaments...yet in the real world i was being physically bullied every day.

One thing i am exploring with the help of Tony is the psychology of fear. Understanding why people freeze and how to cope with that.

I never want to be in another fight for the rest of my life, this film isn't about being tough or hitting folks. I want to explore (and face) a few fears and learn to deal with a few demons.

The Cold Steel Challenge is going to be an epic undertaking, it'll be scary and painful and probably the toughest thing I've ever done...but what I'm realizing is that the preparation and training for this challenge is addressing much deeper issues as well.

It's funny, but this film is honestly changing me....

I can't wait to meet the new me at the end of this

Andy